Warning: If you are currently dating me, or may potentially date me in the future, please don't read this. Trust me, it'll be better that way.

Apparently, we dream about it our whole lives.

The dress, the cake, the flowers, the music, the place settings...oh, and the groom, of course.

Waiting, moist-eyed at the altar, he'll be resplendent in the perfectly tailored suit, his open-collared white shirt hinting at the perfectly carved chest hidden underneath. His perfectly white smile will appear at the sight of you, his large, comforting hand will take yours, and then you'll kiss, perfectly, romantically, and then, well, you'll live happily ever after, obviously.

Me? No, I'm not one of those crazies with a wedding scrapbook she's been curating since 1989. I've never even thought about my wedding.

Alright, maybe a little. But not properly. Not in a 'planning' sense. Just harmless little daydreams.

At least, I think they're harmless.

I'm single, but I'm pretty sure that's got nothing to do with it. Right?

INSTA-MARRIAGE.

I've never given any guy any reason to think that I wanted to get married to him. I've been quite happy playing girlfriend, even living together, getting about as close to marriage as you could get, and I still didn't need a piece of paper.

But if I tried to tell you I didn't think about it, like I told those guys, well, I'd be lying.

In fact, I thought about it within a week of meeting them.

Argh, yeah, I know, that sounds fairly psychotic, but goddammit, it's true. If I'm going to start dating a guy, I need to feel it out a bit. I need to visualize things. Just to check.

So, I'll think about it. I think about meeting his family, traveling with him, how he'd propose to me, walking to meet him at the altar, having babies with him, even how he'd look working on DIY projects around the house.

It just takes a second. It doesn't mean I'm going to do all those things, or pressure him into doing those things, calm down - it's just research. I just need to do a little long term forecast to see if he passes. If I can't imagine him favorably in all those situations, well, it's likely we're not going to work out.

Arghhh, that sounds even worse - it's not like I completely discount guys if they don't pass some silly checklist in my imagination, but I'm a monogamist - I like to be committed, I want to dedicate myself to somebody, and if I'm going to, I need to do the Ten Year Test. It's just the rules.

Frightened yet?

COMMITMENT IS A DIRTY WORD.

Not to me. Like I said, I'm all about it.

But sometimes guys are not quite as keen. Ha. If only they knew what was going through my mind on the second date...

No, no. Look, it's not like that. It's not planning, remember, just a harmless daydream?

So, I'm over there daydreaming about commitment, and they're over here thinking how they might like to take me home for a little hanky panky, and then I'm thinking about what I should wear when he takes me home to meet his parents.

No, again, seriously, it's not as bad as it sounds. I'm 25, with a couple of long-term relationships under my belt, and I haven't forced anyone to marry me yet, so chill.

I've known worse. Some of my girlfriends will meet a guy one night, and tell their mother about 'The One' by the next morning.

My obsessing is more of a simmering, quiet, romantic, totally normal thing.

What's so bad about having a girl that is so into you they could happily speculate about spending their life with you? Right? Right? Totally normal!

BIG FAT WEDDINGS GONE WRONG.

As luck would have it, the other day when it was all rainy and I was on the couch and in need of some trashy reality shows, the TV gods delivered.

A double-header: Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, and Weddings from Hell 4.

Excellent.

But as I watched in horror as one woman's meticulously planned day turned out to be an explosion of sequins and pink taffeta, and another's actually had an explosion, a reality TV revelation occured (happens all the time) and I started to rethink my perfect little wedding dreams.

Maybe it's not a good idea to think about it at all.

What if he looks amazing in the suit in my imagination, and then he goes all Tiger Woods on me.

What if he looks like he's great with kids in my dreams, but he leaves wet towels on the bed.

What if everything works out, and we get engaged, and then, on our wedding day, he's grown a secret mullet.

So, I guess my Ten Year Test isn't foolproof - mainly because I can't predict the future. And also maybe by imagining our life together, and deciding everything looks perfect in my head, I'm actually blinding myself to the reality. Nothing worse than realizing he's a douche five years on because everything else about him so flawlessly fit into the dream. Nothing is ever perfect, and it makes no sense to believe it will be.

BREAKTHROUGH.

Ok, if you are dating me, or may date me in the future, and you still read this, hey, this doesn't bode well, you not listening to me and everything, but you're lucky, I'm very forgiving, and you can read the rest from here with my blessing:

Thinking about things that might or might not happen in the future isn't helpful, especially if it's going to cloud your judgement, get your hopes up or freak out your boyfriend.

So I'm done. I'll just think about here and now, and take it as it comes. Or at least I'll try.

But not this bit:

I'll probably still imagine Justin Timberlake proposing to me, or Ryan Gosling holding our newborn baby. See, that's not speculation. That is just a harmless daydream. Or not, you know - if you guys want in, let me know.