"I really like this item."

"You can have it, in exchange for money."

"But, how much money?"

"$1,000."

"$1,000? Gees, that seems a little steep*. Ok, here you go."

*Muttered inaudibly

I am constantly being ripped off. I don't blame price hikes or greedy retailers - it's my fault entirely.

I'm basically the same as Obama. He wouldn't neogtiate with terrorists, I won't negotiate with stall holders.

I don't like to cause a fuss, question their pricing, the value of their goods. I just let them tell me the price, and I pay. A salesman's dream.

But there's someone in this situation that's losing out. Duh, me. And I need to get my act together, or resign myself to full-priced purgatory forever.

I decided to check out what the internet had to say on the subject, and here's some stuff in video form:

But wait, there's more. I'll even throw in some more tips for another $30.

• Use the other person's name. It makes them feel like you're buddies and stuff. Just a light peppering though, no need to go overboard.
• Use your spouse as an out. Like; "I'll have to check with my wife,", to make yourself seem like the good guy, and her like a cheap domineering wench.
• Find the manager; don't try and haggle with a lowly retail assistant. We all know they don't have access to the sweet discount codes. 
• Using occasional, mild swear words makes you seem more passionate, and persuasive. I, for one, am sick and tired of these motherf**king snakes, on this motherf**king plane.

           Exactly. Nobody questions Samuel L. Jackson.

Who pays full price for a faux leather bowtie? I do.