When you start out online, the first thing you realize is that you're really late into a really crowded market.

All the good domains are gone, the Twitter handles, forget about it. Gone.

You want to blog about social media? You are actually dreaming. Fashion vlogging? Ha! I laugh directly in your face.

If you want to make it on the Internet these days, you have to have a 'thing'; something that sets you apart from the rest.

You need to carve out your own niche, within a niche.

So, here are my five steps to find the real, condensed, marketable, Internet-ready version of yourself. Thank me later.

(As usual, I made a video, if you can't read)

1. Find your inner expert

Firstly, you need to figure out what you know. You don't have to know a lot. Just a little bit more than the average person. Go on, get a pen and paper, make a list and stuff, real legit.

Maybe you studied Japanese in highschool and you can remember how to say 'where is the nearest latrine?'. Good start.

Perhaps you spent an entire summer playing The Sims, or once owned a parakeet. You've posted 83 Instagram photos? This is all really great stuff.

You might feel like you're clutching at straws, but don't worry, there's a niche for everybody, and these ideas are the perfect platform to get you started.

To help you along with this exercise, I've listed below a number of my own areas of expertise. Let's see where that takes us:

• Born in New Zealand in 1986
• Founding member of the now dissolved Peter Andre Fan Club
• Consumed copious amounts of tacos at various eateries in San Francisco

It might not seem like much, but you shut your mouth, it's all I've got. And it's all I need to become the next big blogging sensation. Let's get a little brainstorm going for some blog ideas:

Born in New Zealand in 1986

'poprocksandslouchsocks.co.nz' - A nostalgic look at life from the perspective of an 90s child with a funny accent

Founding member of the now dissolved Peter Andre Fan Club

'KatiePriceisaWhoreWhatWereYouThinking.com' - Bitterly charting the downfall of Peter Andre

Consumed copious amounts of tacos at various eateries in San Francisco

'EatTacoinSF.com' - Mexican food porn and restaurant reviews

See how easy this is? And we're only just getting started!

2. Ask other people what they think of you

Do your friends think you're funny? Does your mum think you're beautiful? Yeah, well those things don't count.

Ask your colleagues what you're really like.

Are you friendly? Straight-talking? A shameless flirt? A bitch?

This will give you a new perspective, and some further insight into your ideal 'brand'.

You'll go from lame old 'social media guru' to 'New York's Favorite Social Media Bitch Whore'.

Winner.

3. Check out your competition

Before you get too excited, you need to check out the lay of the land.

Maybe someone's already stolen your idea (those motherf**kers will do that) or the niche is wide open and flapping about like a set of curtains in the breeze, waiting for you to come in and close the window.

Sussing out your competition will help you figure out exactly where you're going to fit in; allowing you to begin to refine your brand.

4. How to refine your brand

The more variables you can throw into the ring, the less likely it is that someone else can step on your toes.

Say your area of expertise is cat grooming. Well, um, have you been on the Internet lately? That's not going to fly on its own.

Being unique is key. What's different about you that'll make you stand out from the crowd?

Only use organic, vegan products? Sure, that helps. Specialize in feline wigs? Better. Speak fluent kitten? You're in the money.

5. Are you sure?

If you pick out a specific niche for your online efforts, you're going to have to be consistent to eventually become an authority in that niche.

Make sure it's something you're passionate about, and a subject that you could happily explore for years to come.

Or, you know, I'm pretty sure you could just abandon it if you change your mind. No one will notice.