Can males and females really just be friends?

I'd love to answer that question for you today, but as we've been debating it ever since consenual sex was invented, don't hold your breath.

Well, we kinda do know the answer, don't we, but if we were to all suddenly just come out with it, we'd have to completely rebuild society with weird segregation rules and it would be horribly lame and not at all flirty and carefree. Nobody wants that.

So we all just pretend. Any convincing arguments against are quickly dissipated in a fog of denial from both parties. Mostly the females though, we're the delusional scoundrels in all this.

We know men are heavily influenced by their penile appendages in these matters. They want what they want. They go after it. Simple as that.

But we women; we're very calculating about the whole thing. If we come across a guy that we enjoy being around, that treats us favorably; makes us happy and looks out for us, we'll lap it up, but if we don't feel any electricity, we make the decision to call them a friend and be done with it. Back to the hunt, leaving the poor lad in our wake.

You think he's just been hanging out with you because he thought you were a nice person? Reality is, he was probably trying to try it on. Maybe he'll eventually give up, but it's likely his first objective involved smooshing.

Disagree boys? Well ask yourself this: if she arrived on your doorstep in a desperate state, urgently requiring sexual relations, you'd help her out, right? Because you're a good friend!

{I don't know who this guy wearing a cardboard iPhone is. But he was the only guy I have a picture with in my Facebook albums that I don't know, and I couldn't bring myself to use a picture with an actual friend. Now, that would just be awkward. If you are this guy, sorry dude.}

I've had guys try and tell me that if they meet a cool chick, they're quite happy to be friends, just friends with her.

I've had girls tell me they don't have any feelings for their guy friends, it's purely platonic. (More likely to believe them, just quietly)

And many of us manage to have friends of the opposite sex throughout our lifetimes and never once make out with them. Not even a little drunken grope.

But I think we're all lying to ourselves.

Check this out: if I was being completely, utterly, flat out honest with myself - I think I could say there is something in each of my male friends that I find attractive. Not just in a dreamy 'I'm drawn to this person' way; in a boy-girl attraction kind of way. And I think it's natural. Maybe I find it attractive that they have a good sense of humor. Maybe I think they're good-looking. Would I ever make a move?

Nope, because it's just not like that. If there was an actual 'spark', I would have made a move at the start. If I like a guy, really like him, in that way, I generally act on it pretty promptly, or, at least make it super obvious.

And if I meet a guy, I don't feel a spark, but I have suspicions that he did - if he's a cool guy, I'll hang on in there, really, honestly, genuinely, innocently hoping that maybe this one’s different. That maybe he’ll lose interest in the idea, and we can really just be friends. In denial, just like the rest of mankind.

Hey, but sometimes it works out. Maybe my man mates are in the same situation; attracted to me in some way, but they didn't feel the spark either. Or maybe they did, and they just got over it. I do know I've got a handful of guy mates I completely trust, that I'm pretty sure wouldn't want to sleep with me. I think. God, don't answer that.

But aside from them, my only male friend intake these days is the 'safe zone' crowd, like guys with steady girlfriends or guys without penises. I mean, girls.

I know I'm probably making the situation worse, inadvertently leading on guys, sending the wrong signals. I'm a doofus about that kind of thing.

But maybe there's hope for the Friend Zone yet. I just need to figure out where I'm going wrong.